ah Beng (the singaporean)
why did Ah Beng go to the movies with 18 friends?
because below 18 not allowed lah!
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Ah Beng wants to buy a TV set. he goes to a shop.
Ah Beng :"do you have color TV?"
salesgirl :"yes!"
Ah Beng :"give me a green one, please"
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Ah Beng is filling up an application form for job.
he filled in the information for the columns on Name, Age, Address, etc.
the he comes to column on "Salary Expected", but he is not sure of the question.
after much thought, he writes "Yes".
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Ah Beng goes to a store and sees a shiny object.
Ah Beng :"what is that shiny object?"
salesgirl :" that is a thermo flask"
Ah Beng :"what does it do?"
salesgirls :"it keeps hot things hot and cold things cold"
Ah Beng :"i’ll buy it"
the next day, Ah Beng goes to work with his thermo flask.
boss :"what is that shiny object?"
Ah Beng :"its a thermo flask"
boss :"what does it do?"
Ah Beng :"it keeps hot things hot and cold things cold"
boss :"what do you have in it?"
Ah Beng :"two cups of coffee and one cup of ice cream"
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after taking photocopies of documents, Ah Beng always compares it with the original for spelling mistakes.
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Ah Beng always smiles during lightning storms because he thinks his picture is being taken.
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why cant Ah Beng dial 911?
because he cant find the number 11 (eleven) on the phone.
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Ah Beng just bought a new computer and was using it.
when he encounter some problem, he decided to use the "Help" command.
soon after, he became very irritated and called the computer customer support.
Ah Beng :"i press the "F1" key for help lah, but its been half an hour and still nobody come and help me lah?"
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Ah Beng with two red ears went to his doctor.
the doctor asked him what had happened to his ears and he replied, "i was ironing a shirt and the phone ring lah. but instead of picking up the phone, i accidentally pick up the iron and stuck it to my ear lah"
"oh dear!" the doctor exclaimed in disbelief, "but…..what happened to the other ear?"
Ah Beng replied :"the stupid dumbo called back lah!!!"
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Ah Beng talks to a long-distance telephone operator.
Ah Beng :"could you please tell me the time difference between taipei and las vegas?"
operator :"just a minute…"
Ah Beng :"thank you lah" and puts down the phone.
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after completing a jigsaw puzzle he’d been working on for quite some time, Ah Beng proudly shows off the finished puzzle to a freind.
"it took me only 5 months to do it", Ah Beng brags.
"five months?? thats too long!" the friend exclaims.
"you are a fool" Ah Beng replies, "see this box, it is written for 4-7 YRS"
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at a bar in new york, the man to Ah Beng’s left tells the bartender. "johnie walker, single"
and his companion says, "jack daniels, single"
the bartender approaches Ah Beng and asks, "and you, sir?"
Ah Beng replies :"Tan Ah Beng, married lah"
